6.21.2017

The taste for sweetness lost on burnt tongues

Looking for reasons to scorch fertile earth

 

Familiar shames boil to the surface, and then are reconstituted

All in the blink of an eye

Before they can be skimmed off to salvage the rest

 

Eyeing true growth has me searching for a name for what we have

(I hunger for understanding but no longer wish to be troubled by it)

12.7.2016

This is not the way I should have finished it

So precariously

Balancing disappointments on the disappointed

Stacked

Alternating layers of ruin and rage

Ash and fire

I expect it to fall

And I wait for it

Between inhales, between indulgences

Baited breath and smoke-filled lungs

Gasping for air, choking on you to fill the time

 

And the collapse is all at once

More instantaneous than I thought possible

I dodge showering coal and blistering remnants

Scorched earth that I created, earth that I damned

And from it I cannot

Run

Fast enough

11.30.2016

Two seconds have passed

And you are in my rear view mirror

While she is next to me

Nothing feels the same

 

It is cold now, but I am not

And neither is she

Because there’s more tea than either of us can drink

And we both brought scarves

In the event that our words were not warm enough

And we didn’t feel sufficiently wrapped up in conversation

 

I wonder if you can hear me praying for your touch

I wonder if you see it in my eyes, or if my cheeks are flushed

Am I biting my lip?

 

Have you realized that we’re pink and white

Like the song in your headphones

And the light of this sunset

And the colors behind my eyelids

I can’t sleep again but it is not out of pain

It is out of the unceasing desire to continue to devour this savory reality

 

You ask me “what is a dichotomy” and I say something dumb, like “us”

Because there is not unity but we are two halves of a whole

I can feel it

On my scalp, racing down