4.14.17

I don’t feel lovesick

I just feel sick

Nausea, pins and needles on the skin, dizziness

Symptoms of uncertainty

 

I touch you and then retreat into my thoughts

Body tucking into its self, folding, praying for disappearance

Now, when I don’t long for your touch, or the sensation of your hands around my neck

I feel suffocated by you

 

 

I felt myself letting you down every moment we were together

And could not stop

No one likes someone encumbered by negativity

Self-hating egotist

 

I have been trying to escape the grip of self-absorption

But the way you’ve been looking at me has me spiraling

Insanity coiling around me

 

Things feel bad

Like a good dream gone wrong

Not quite nightmare, not quite escape

 

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