12.04.2016

Do I value permanence over goodness?

Longevity over euphoria

 

Even as I ask myself these questions I can’t help but imagining pulling you into me

Like a breath; shaky and irregular

Grasping at your hips and waist and running my fingers over what you wish you could remove

And what you already have

Such temporary perfection

But perfection nonetheless

 

I’m relearning how to fantasize

And how to escape into the wholeness of feeling

If I close my eyes

And just think of you looking at me

There is no concern of forever

There is only the moment

And the moment is good

 

And so are your kisses

And so is your touch

Inherently right

Comforting

 

I wonder how I’ve gone so long

Denying myself my dreams

Torturing myself with easy, and fast

Rough and unconcerned

 

Being torn into

By those with no fear of loss

And indifference towards tomorrow

 

The fear is sweeter

The uncertainty more pleasurable

 

Instead of divided in halves and fourths

It is everything

And it is all at once

I cannot put it down

I pray you don’t make me

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